Category Archives: humor

New Tatkal system creates chaos at the railway station

The new tatkal system introduced from today which was to make ticket booking easier resulted in chaos and ruckus at the railway station. People are angry that they are made to wait longer for tickets because this has increased problems for aam aadmi.

“I came with my daughter to book tatkal tickets. She was in the queue from midnight. From today the tatkal booking starts from 10 so she didn’t have her breakfast on time and she fainted. She was then rushed to a hospital. Earlier timing of 8 was better because we can go for breakfast whether we get the ticket or not” an aam aurat said

“This new timing has created new problems for me. I have to go to my office at 10 and here the booking starts only at 10. My boss will be very unhappy with me coming late. Earlier timing was better”, an office going aam aadmi said

All the office goers were seen rushing out after they booked tickets. This rush created some sort of chaos at the railway station. The railway officials had to jump in to take control of the situation

“Office goers are hard hit. They either have to take a leave to book a Tatkal ticket or risk being late for work.”, a railway official said

“They say no agents will be allowed to book tickets. But just by seeing someone’s face how can you make out whether someone is an agent or not. Would that be written on his face?”, a disgruntled aam aadmi who could not get tatkal ticket said.

But one should not get perplexed by this situation. The UPA government is anti aam aadmi and this is one among their several anti aam aadmi steps.

But the UPA government was quick to react. “This is all due to Mamata di. So don’t blame us.”, UPA spokes person said.

Well, now who has the courage to explain everything to Mamata di and make her change the decision.

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Ek toota hua parliament hamara….

What is the biggest problem that India is facing right now?….Who will be the next president?  Ab ek mahine ke liye Mango Man ke problems gaye baad mei, hamein chun na hai rashtrapati

Mamata – Mulayam : We want (a) Kalam, (b) Manmohanji (c) Somnath ji. Sabko ism se choose karna padega.

Soniaji: But I’m going with option (d) Pranab da

Mamata: You can do whatever you want Soniaji but you know my principle. I am going to oppose whoever is your candidate. Iskeliye koi Bengali ko hi oppose karna pade tab bhi mei karoongi.

Soniaji to Mulayam: Aap kya pagala gaye hain that you are starting an alliance with Mamata. Can’t you see what we are going through? Why do you want to commit suicide? Look here do not worry. Just support Pranab da and I can assure you that your ministers will be given a cabinet berth next time around okay. You can count on me on this matter

Mulayam: I am eh… hmm…. er…. supporting Pranab da.

Hey guys, hope you have not forgotten me. I am P Sangma. I’m also in this president’s race

Sharad Pawar: Soniaji don’t worry. He will withdraw his application. Aap usko mere upar chod do aur befikar rahiye

Sangma: Withdraw my application? Here take my resignation. Now no one can stop me.

Suno Suno Suno Bhaiyon aur Behenon, I oppose Pranab da’s candidature. So I, Ram Jetmalani is declaring myself fit for this Presidential race. Jisne kala dan chupaya uska muh mei kala karke chodunga

Sushmaji: Hey can someone ask that Ramji to shut his mouth. Even after 55 meetings we cannot decide between Pranab da and Sangma this Jetmalani is going to divide us even more. Somebody help him with a couple of Supreme Court cases

Nithin Gadkari: So after the 72nd meeting we have decided that BJP will support P Sangma

Now let’s go back and see what Mamatadi is up to

Mamatadi: Kalam Sir, please Kalam sir you should contest. You are the pride of the nation. You have a vision for our country. If you contest you will definitely win.

Kalam: No, I will not contest

Mamatadi: Kalam Sir, please Kalam sir The people of India wants you to contest.

Kalam: No, I will not contest

Mamatadi: Kalam Sir, please Kalam sir kam se kam meri ijjat toh bachane ke liye…

Kalam: No, I will not contest

Arey ye kya ho gaya didi. He did not listen to you. Well everything has got a first time you know. Hope you will emerge stronger from your first rejection.

So this is our presidential race. UPA is divided. NDA is divided. Even the Left party is divided. It seems that the whole of the electorate is divided into 272 pieces. Who will get to eat the largest piece of cake will be decided after the elections.

Kya… mannu banega president?

Mamata-Mulayam, the M2 alliance has thrown a googly at the Congress. Despite the presence of Sachin Tendulkar in Rajya Sabha they couldn’t play this one and they got out  bowled. Come lets see how everyone is reacting after the match.

Mamatadi: It’s been a while I have started opposing the Congress, now for a change let them oppose my proposal. Here I suggest Manmohanji for President

Mulayamji: In coalition politics how making oneself heard we should learn that from Mamatadi. So like an ideal student of Mamatadi I am going to support her proposal.

Sonia G: Kya? Manmohan for President. I will not let this happen. How can I let my puppet go away from me? Pranabda will be the President and I will make Rahul the FM. It will be a training for 2014 for Rahul baba.

Rahul G:Are ye kya? Itni jaldi PM ka kurzi mere liye chodke ja rahe hain. But I don’t want to be PM now. Let me take rest for two more years * *yawn * *

Mannu: Hain? Me for President? Actually it is not a bad idea. At least for the next two years I will get some peace. But ye Soniaji…unko mei kaise manaoonga?

Kapil Sibal: What? Congress wants Pranabda for President. You know how many times I have saved the Congress party from embarrassments. Ab sabke muh mei sirf Pranabda Pranabda Pranabda. I will not let this happen. I am supporting MMS for president. Lekin ye kisise bolna mat…

Aam Aadmi: The president of India is just a rubber stamp and for that so much discussion happening. No one wants to discuss about inflation, price rise, economy, poverty, hunger, malnutrition.  All parties are busy with presidential elections. In choron ke haath mei mera kya hoga bagwan..???

The satyamev jayate effect

So the Amir Khan’s TV debut is a block buster hit. He is now the face of fight against injustice and social issues. Here comes someone who is suffering the most now a days. He is called the Aam Aadmi or the Mango Man

AK: So joining us today is the Aam Aadmi and let us hear his story

AA: My story is full of corruption, injustice, malpractices and all. It is a really tragic story.

AK: Okay. Let us go one by one. You said corruption. How will you explain it?

AA: If I have to talk about corruption then it is there left right and center. The 2G was just a tip of the ice berg. Then there was CWG, mining, Adarsh, coal. There is not a single item left that is not affected by corruption. One scam per day is the motto of this government.

AK: Sad, really sad, what did u do then?

AA: What can I do? Investigations started the matter reached court. Then the same old story. Everyone gets bail and now wait for ten years for the trial to start. This is what happens with the great Indian judicial system

AK: I understand your pain. What was the response from the government?

AA: What response from them. Don’t you know MMS does not speak and Soniaji  and Rahulji are concerned only about the welfare of Gandhi family.

AK: This is really a grievous situation.

AA:Well what you are thinking is wrong because the worst was yet to come.

AK: Oh, the worse yet to come. What is it?

AA: They increased the petrol prices by Rs 7.50

AK: Oh God * * A stunned silence everywhere* *

AA: With petrol prices up I can’t go out, due to price rise I can’t eat, with falling rupee I can’t go to study abroad. Nothing is left.

I understand the compulsions. I know that there is recession and the world economy is affected by it. But what is disheartening is the fact that our ministers are not concerned about all this. Do you know what they discuss in parliament?  Whose cartoon is better, what others are saying about them, stop the functioning of parliament. This parliament can’t even put forward and implement a reform. Then there is a Mamatadi who knows only to oppose everything. Don’t know what I will do? It’s just dark days ahead for me.

AK: Well, Aam AAdmi thank you for coming. I don’t have words to express the situation you are in. I hope that you are strong enough to deal with more and more darkness that is going to come in future.